People of Color Are Not Okay
I am TIRED
Four years ago when I watched Trump become our 45th president, I cried. I was angry and in disbelief that this can happen in our country. I knew people who actually voted for him, and I was so upset with them. As I aired my concerns and frustration, I was told to calm down. That I am over-reacting. I was reassured many times, that there are checks and balances in place, and that the things he promised won’t actually happen. It was all a show, and that he can’t actually break any laws. That comparing him to Hitler is a bit extreme…
Over the past four years, I have watched him go through with his promises. Watched him incite violence, spew hate and bigotry, and enabled white supremacists. Where they actually felt safe enough to come out of the shadows. As Trump did one thing after another, people continued to defend him. Saying “don’t worry, it won’t get that bad”.
Time after time, it did get that bad, and his administrative office let him get away with it each time for their own selfish agenda.
What happened yesterday at the capitol was not surprising. It was still sad and maddening to see, but not in the least surprising. I saw this coming from miles away, heck, one might even say…years away. However, what was most upsetting is watching the truth we know deep in our hearts be aired on media outlets. It was another slap in the face that if you’re white, you can get away with anything. White privilege was front and center, and they didn’t even try to hide it.
The hypocrisy played out right in front of our eyes. When black people marched to the capitol for BLM, they were met with tanks, guns, teargas, and rubber bullets. When these MAGA terrorists with guns and confederate flags stormed the capitol, they got in with ease. The police let them get past the barricades without force, held a woman’s hand as they helped her down the stairs, and even took selfies with them inside the capitol. No unmarked black vehicles showed up, snatching people away into the dark. The police showed us they can in fact hold restrain...when they want to.
Another lovely reminder that people of color, and more specifically, black people, are inferior to their white counterparts in this country.
I am A n g r y
Throughout all this time, a lot of white people have continued to tell me “it will be okay” and “keep hope”. I know you mean well, but just stop.
I am tired and angry of having my feelings be invalidated. As if hope is going to change all of this overnight. Sure, we have made some strides, and continue to have some positive change, but we haven’t actually come that far. Because America doesn’t seem to want to change. You’re lucky that you can just tune out because you need a “break”, but people of color can’t. There is no way for us to hide our skin tone, and take a break from reality because we are a part of that reality.
I have been told to relax for the past four years, even though I saw the writings on the wall. So I am done with being told the same thing at this time.
For the past 10 months, we have been asked to work business as usual. As if we are to ignore what is happening in the country. We are still expected to deliver at quality as if the world isn’t on fire. What we have been witnessing for the past four years, including yesterday, is traumatic and exhausting for people of color, especially black folks. To expect us to work under these circumstances and push through is not normal. It’s hard to function, and we have to disassociate even more from the reality in order to survive.
I am angry that these terrorists who stormed the capitol yesterday are able to take off their MAGA and anti-Semitic gear, put away their confederate flags and just blend right back into society with no consequences. This is America.
I can’t hide who I am. I know, until the day I die, I will continue to get racially profiled. I don’t think I will ever been seen as an equal in my lifetime.
